Boyfriend taking too long to propose reddit

 

It's time to have an adult conversation with her. You've known each other 11 months and you think he is waiting too long to propose. They are currently unmarried with no kids. If you are feeling a lack of connection, fearful of your partner's level of commitment, or are experiencing some relational sadness, name those things. He is nervous about making a grand gesture. Breaking up, dating, finding a bf, engagement, marriage, kidstake a LONG TIME. I had to give him a deadline. We had never seen pictures of each other, had never heard each other's voice, and he told me he was going to marry me. We get along so well we both just knew right away… He also proposed at the 6 month mark. By me taking so long I accept it made her feel unwanted, and unvalued. “I told him what I was looking for and said that if i'm (21f) my boyfriend is (24m) we’ve been together for going on 4 years, we met when he was in college, he's graduated college and he has his career job all set and I have a good job also, so financially we’d be making over 6k a month so there’s no problems financially, we've traveled so many places and met each other family, he talks about moving in together and starting a family but There's no one answer. You are just supposed to lump it. Before people come at me for why I don't propose. She moved in 2 weeks later; but all I heard about was that I waited too long to propose, and now we were waiting too long to get married. We just hit our 4 year anniversary and I asked if he was going to propose any time soon. Everyone loves a go-getter. He says he loves me but I don't know. He says “no, not anytime soon. I know were still young , but we already have a 4 year old child and a mortgage together . He said yes (we’ve been talking about marriage for quite some time, and the only thing holding us back right now is how broke we are lol). Generally a couple of weeks doesn’t change anything about you two being able to plan your wedding and schedule things, but definitely don’t get engaged within a week or something like that. He had to take a path through the trees where I'd strung up photos of our time together and made a few wooden signs saying how special our time has been together etc and made a little story to follow along the path. He can propose all he likes, but you can say no just as many times. My (35F) best friend (33F) has been with her boyfriend (35F) for 18 years (since they were in high school). I love him and want to get married, and feel insecure that he hasn't proposed. We have been talking about marriage for about 2 years but we lived with my parents at the time and decided that we would wait until we moved out to get engaged in order to enjoy it on our own. I tell you this story for a few reasons. The second is to abandon old-fashioned ideas of romance, and create your own story. For a woman, stability a HUGE part of what she wants in return. You’ve been together long enough to know what the answer will be. But different per people. But in all honesty, I was in love with him by the end of our first date (we knew each other for quite a long time before we dated). It was the best advice I ever got. Best to ask how he is feeling or just wait. See, i love him to death, and i know for a fact i wanna spend the rest of my life with him. I’d give it 2 weeks unless you talk to the sister and she ok’s something sooner. It’s part of figuring out if you are compatible. He gets to choose how he proposes - try to stop controlling everything. Using a new and different account because my boyfriend knows my main one. We moved in together shortly after 4 and I proposed about 2 months after that. In me experience, being a “bad texter” means you are awkward or whatever over text; it doesn’t mean you don’t text often at all. Good luck. applelark. ago. We were long distance for maybe about 4 and a half years and then he moved over 1200 miles to come live with me with the occasional visits before that. My parents thought I was crazy too. But I've heard stories of women proposing to men, followed by the man getting mad at her for it, saying she "stole his moment". Happens all the time. Go together to choose a ring, don't wait for him to initiate a proposal, etc. I may have stepped out of line by saying "the vast majority" which isn't technically true, although the above statistics average out to around 50%, that's still a hell of a lot of marriages. If I happened to propose marriage to my boyfriend and he proceeded outwardly to blame me for it, I would be livid. I keep trying to have this conversation with my boyfriend too (I’m April we’ll be together 3 years) … we don’t have to get married right away but I don’t wanna be 5 years in with no engagement and I don’t wanna be 10 years in being just a girlfriend… plus I want kids but I would prefer to be married or at the very least engaged pressuring him to propose is the last thing I want to do and I don't want to rush it. 5 years. Sep 30, 2016 · I told him a year into our relationship that I’m not the kind of woman who’s going to be your girlfriend for like five years,” she said. [33f] My boyfriend (33m) and I have been together for nearly 7 years. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Posted by u/jforres - 6 votes and 7 comments 27M takes too long to respond to me 21F with no explanation. Marriage isn't about a competition among friends' it is about a lifelong commitment to someone who you can't bear to be without. 6. It is problematic that he's 25 and still feels this way, my point is only that it's also understandable and not necessarily an indication that he's totally immature and will not take to being on his own Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Didn’t think much of it whatsoever. We've been together for a total of 7 years now. However I feel that it has been too long. Your family is not living your life. I recently met a guy. I’m usually also the one to message first as well. Life and marriage isn't all about you getting your own way. 7 years is long enough to know if someone is “the one”. 2. If both people have expressed their love for each other and know that neither of you is anti-marriage, then no more than 5 years. I (27f) and my boyfriend (28m) have been dating for about 4 years now. My (25f) boyfriend (25m) and I have been together for just shy of five years. You don’t have to rush to get married, wait it out and tell him you’re okay with a long engagement (if you are). He keeps moving the goal posts. jupiterimages. Just as the title says. We have been dating for 7 years, and she’s really the only person I’ve ever dated. If I’d gotten married, I would have been divorced by 21. It’s been my dream to get married traditionally and have a big wedding. You are a full-grown adult and you have words, too. Unpopular opinion: you are over reacting. Hence the drinking (that I suggested as a means of celebration). You need to have some serious conversions about your relationship and what you both want. When i ask my boyfriend if he is ever going to propose, he says that he is not ready and still has a lot he needs to accomplish first. I’ve told him I date to marry and he says he does too. So, I'll start out with my relationship with my boyfriend. I have always been straightforward about wanting to get married one day and when we started getting serious my boyfriend asked if we could wait until after college, I agreed. I hope your boyfriend will be honest with you and that you two can work it out. But a common answer is a fear of commitment, or a fear of failing at commitment, as divorces can be pretty rough. At the bottom, the trees ended and opened into a field where I was waiting in a long white dress with a wooden music box. He tells his friends “we’re basically married” and tells strangers we’re married. I say ask him about how he feels about the long term scope of your relationship, talk to him a bit and see if he is ready. To keep it short, through a series of unfortunate events/total accidents I found out my boyfriend is proposing. I was very traditional about this. Don’t worry about the pressure from others, do what works for you two. Take some breaths. We also both have good jobs and were the most stable we've ever been in our relationship . Long distance phone calls were still like 25 cents a minute. He liked me first, but I think it took him a good few months to fall in love with me. They’ll marry the next woman after dating a few months. Anyone who has been dating as long as you two have knows enough to have specific reasons why they are still on the fence. I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for 5 years now. He obviously wants to be very intentional the next time he proposes. I think my boyfriend is going to propose and I don't want him to. My boyfriend and I plan on getting engaged and we will be looking for rings soon. But I don’t feel like he wants to even marry me if he’s putting this Four months. I would also have at least a 1 year engagement so married around 3-4years together. He has a very traditional Indian family who’s big into getting married ASAP and I have a lot of extended Mormon family who’s the same. Propose already. We are Hispanic, so big parties are in our nature lol. Only 1 of my friends know that I know, but even she thinks I just know it’s happening sometime on our vacation in September. Me (f) and my boyfriend (m) are in our mid twenties. He might not believe in marriage. Talk to him, talk to his family, talk to his friends, and that might help you piece the particular reason together for your situation. Tired of waiting for him to propose. That’s just my preference because from my experience you really don’t know a person until you live with them. If he tries to fix it, great. Have discussed marriage with my bf of almost 5 years since our first year (he brought it up first). If he doesn’t try to fix it, you might need to break it off. Go into the closet, pull her ring out, get down on one knee and propose to her on the spot. And you want him to actually notice and appreciate you. I like that saying. My boyfriend at the time wanted to date for a LONG time before marriage (think 10 years time frame). Only a few weeks. Asked for 2 weeks to make sure I was doing the right thing. i (21F) proposed to my boyfriend (21m) back in June. If a guy doesn’t propose in a mutually agreeable timeframe (can be anything from 6mos to 5yrs plus depending on the folks involved), I would break up and move on. LadyRavenEye. Sep 1, 2023 · Below, we wanted to share the Risk of Waiting Too Long To Propose: 1. TheLostWaterNymph. I asked my now-husband when he planned to propose. We have been doing so fine since we wanted to work and concentrate on career. Do not disregard his experience of getting engaged two years in and having it blow up in his face. I think it's really mean to criticize how he planned to propose on your fifth anniversary rather than over Christmas. Context: My (21F) boyfriend (30M) and I have been dating for about 2 1/2 years at this point. Sit him down and outright ask him if he's bought a ring. I'd at least wait for that. It would be ridiculous and a charade Also yes. Luckily, my Mom begged me to finish college first and have a long engagement. If it seems like he’s into it, then GO FOR IT! Forget about rules that say men have to propose. About 6-12 months for LOVE, but general affection and attractive within the first month. You can’t rush him, but as long as you both are honest and communicative (and not pushy) things will work out. I didn’t want to propose to her after she ended things because that would just feel wrong, and I wanted it to be the most special day of our lives - not a reaction to a breakup. He said he wanted to make a certain salary first because being married meant starting a family and being able to provide. He was one year younger than her but she knew right away that she “didn’t want to be with anyone else. Early in our relationship, we discussed basics like wanting kids/how many, religion, and how long was an appropriate amount of time to be dating before proposal/marriage would be on the table. He says that people who marry young are stupid. You don’t have to let him be the one to drive the relationship, you have a say too. You find out if you have the same long term goals when it comes to family, finances, and values. I’m upset that it won’t be a surprise Posted by u/Suki1495 - 10 votes and 30 comments Imagine being her, so proud of this sign, bringing it to see your idol’s concert, only to have him feel so bad for her to publicly help pressure her boyfriend to propose. I know when, where & how but at the moment he has no idea I know. Keep in mind that at 22 she is still very young. My boyfriend (25) and I (24) have been together for almost 8 years . Some people could view it as being a bit too early for marriage, but you never know. We have been living alone for about 6 months and nothing My partner didn’t propose in time and I am considering leaving It’s been over 8 years. Maybe show him this post and tell him this is an issue for you, one you'd like to address together. Now we are dating and I’ve heard hints about we’re going to France and from some friends that’s where he wants to propose to me. You have no way to make them do so. In a recent survey, 10% of women said they would dump a partner for taking too long. I was so sure it was going to happen and I was so hurt that it didn’t. he has a reddit too, so i’ll probably delete this pretty soon just in case; i don’t want to spoil the surprise. When he is ready, he will propose. like, mans perfect, i wanna marry him, get a little suburban home, raise Sep 2, 2010 · www. We live together and have a kitty catto together. We’ve been dating like, I dunno, 8-9 months, I should prolly start keeping track of that shit buuuut thats not the damn point. OP, if he wanted to, he would. FM 28 with a boyfriend M 30, have been in long distance since 6 years. How soon is too soon for a proposal when you think you’ve found the one? so I’ve been with my (27f) bf (28m) for almost a year. Focus on some other things ( I know it's hard). You should talk to him again about your need for even more communication. If you’re meant to be together, you will be. " He might be saving up for things or doing something else. Not any time soon but I was thinking on the last day of high school i could plan something nice for him, get him roses and a bear for the morning… The average age a brain will finish fully developing is circa 23 years old. Sometimes those reasons are deal breakers; sometimes they are not. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Dec 11, 2023 · Jason Powell, LMFT, CST, Founder at Attached Therapy, explains, "One of the most important things that you can do to deal with the anxiety of waiting is to be an advocate for your own needs. " Not a week from now, not a month from now, but immediately. How it happened: Given how my boyfriend promised that my proposal was going to happen this year, I was so excited Christmas Eve day and heading down to the Christmas tree. It is like any other relationship. But your whole post screams the opposite of that. If you both love each other, neither of your is anti-marriage and you live together, then no more than 2 years. The total divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%. We went to high school together, did long distance at separate colleges, moved to new states to be together, etc So I (19m) wanna fuckin marry my boyfriend (21m). If he can't understand that you can love someone without marrying them, then he's not the guy for you. Our relationship is still pretty new (four months on the 25th), and we are out of the honeymoon phase, so everything isn’t just rose tinted glasses all the way. Lately, he is taking too long to respond to my texts (usually a week, sometimes two weeks) and gives excuses. This is 2020. Men will waste a woman’s time for years if you let them. Your dad’s permission or blessing is long gone and obviously not needed at all. I’ve been with my partner for close to 5 years now. My boyfriend could propose with a $26 Cz ring and I would be perfectly happy as long as I get to be his wife. He even bought himself an engagement/ wedding ring! So with him doing that, I thought he would propose. When it feels right, but preferably at least a year of dating. We’ve lived together for 1 1/2 of those years and have two fur babies. We just got engaged this past Sunday a few days after our 2 year anniversary! ☺️. 13M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. Before you're 29, a nice ring, a houseetc. It sounds lame but taking care of rent, utilities, maintenance, etc. Regarding threatening to say no: don't make promises It’s best to know expectations regarding major life decisions as early as possible. on your own place is kind of a lot to wrap your head around all at once. I want to reiterate that I own this - I fucked up. Tell him where you're at. He proposed after 3 weeks. It took my husband 9 years to propose and we waited 3 years to get married. Reply reply. If my boyfriend expressed his desire to propose, I would totally let him do that. Float the idea to him that an engagement ring is not necessary (lots of great reasons why: they're expensive, better to put that money into a retirement account or college fund). Your anxious energy for a proposal is 100% a you issue. Fast forward many years and we met again by complete chance. You don't want to dive into these things too early and get hurt, which is why it's important to verify if he is reciprocating the same That is your choice and no one else's. Often if a man doesnt propose it’s because he really doesn’t want to commit. Seems like you're trying to rush things, and you guys are still only 24/25. In my opinion, 19 is too young to propose. Reply. And he wants you to just do "service with a smile" and quit bugging him. If you have been in a relationship for a long time and you know your partner is the one, it is probably time to start thinking of taking your relationship to the next level. I have to be in a relationship for at least 3 years before I propose. You have asked your boyfriend to propose. I have a lot of information that suggests that my boyfriend was going to propose during our trip: -he asked me about my ring size so “his family member could buy me a ring” (never got this ring) -he told me he bought me a special gift this year that I would get during our vacation and asked if I preferred New Year’s Eve or New My boyfriend is 29. I’m not ready. When a woman invests in a man, she expects him to do the same in return. Good job for being considerate of this. And he lived in another country about a thousand miles away. Under 25 or had a long distance relationship, you should wait longer. I think this post just made thousands of women cry. We always joked that ‘if he was going to take too long to propose… You can get a straight answer by flipping the script, taking him out on a picnic, and get on one knee. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years (we are now 28). If he says “in my dream job with a little one and a big house in the country that you designed” then he’s probably interested in marriage. I am tired of waiting for him to propose . These men have all been dating their girlfriends for four - seven years and are all between the ages of 27 and 30, aka they can afford engagement rings and have been with Aug 29, 2016 · Abby met her boyfriend in high school. Don't waste people's time, shit or get off the pot if you both want to be married some day. Throughout our friendship she’s endlessly expressed frustration about him not “making her a wife” or getting her pregnant. I had the ring picked out and everything. Clearly there are a million people at his concert and it was bad enough of a situation that Harry noticed this in a sea of signs. You really should talk to him before he has a chance to propose. Ask him where he sees himself 5 years in the future. Less than a year, but that was still "too long. There’s a great Instagram called Propose Too if you’d like inspo of women proposing to men. My boyfriend whom calls himself my husband of 10 years wants to skip on proposing/having a big wedding and getting married in a courthouse. . You can get engaged and not marry until you're fully ready for it years later. Enjoy this time so looking back on it you'll have happy memories. Still it wasn’t until their mid-20s, several ADMIN MOD. But I'd say don't do it until you have lived together for at least half a year. It’s just not something that’s important to him (marriage, not the relationship) and he doesn’t know how much you want it. Taskmaster_babes. You can't make him propose. I understood that we would have to wait to get engaged because we were so young. I put a lot of pressure on him to get married, and I think that it would have happened if I hadn't pulled the plug. We've been dating for four years and have been talking marriage for a couple of months now and I've realised, that I don't want to marry him. I was enaged at 18. Don't let someone steamroll you into anything you don't feel ready for. If he says “living in a condo in the city with a Ferrari” temper your hopes. When you know you know. Hi everyone, my bf (26) and I (24) have been together for 5 years. First, there’s a stigma about engagement rings…they need to be worth three months salary…blah blah blah. If you want to be married with kids before 35 (after 35 is risky for health reasons), then you need to know. After college he asked if we could wait until after we both found jobs and I agreed. Myself (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have had talks of marriage for a bit now. This for anyone over 25 years old. I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 6 years. 4. When my boyfriend and I had just met he told me he used to be in a 8 year relationship and just before he and his ex broke up he was planning on going to France to propose to her. com. For a man, investment/etc includes great sex, emotional support, etc. ”. 6 years. I have been bringing up getting married for over two years, and every time I try and talk with him he gets agitated and just stops answering or says " I don't know" as a response to my questioms, which just makes it all worse. I (28M) have been getting a lot of pressure from my girlfriend (28F) to propose and it doesn’t feel right. 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. If he isn’t, maybe that’s the red flag that changes things. I’ve expressed my concern that I’d have a hard time naturally getting pregnant and also my interest in adopting children. The total divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%. He seemed pretty confident and talkative when I approached him in person but over messages his responses are dry and he takes a very long time to respond back. I have stuff in my fridge that's been there longer than that. 10M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. He’s stringing you along until he finds someone better or wears you down long enough to where you’ll just accept the situation. It's awesome you're this excited and have met someone you feel this way about. ADMIN. It's your choice what to do about it - seven years is a long time, it's not easy to leave that behind. LivvyBumble. We’ve both had long term relationships before, his longest being 5 years mine being 3 and a half. We have been together for 7. We broke up a month after graduation. 3. We planned the wedding for September of 06, in order to save up. It mostly sounds like he takes you and your services for granted. 3-7 times a day either means you have no jobs or its really short and bad sex. 2-3 years, at least 1 year living together. •. We got married a month later and have been married going on 4 years now with a baby on the way. Talk to him. Start going to counseling together. • 7 yr. Boyfriend takes too long to respond. We started dating at 18 in college. My boyfriend of almost 3 years takes a long time to finish now but be would finish faster When we first started 31F, I think you need to live together for at least a year. Otherwise you should evaluate what is making you feel time pressured and figure out how to have a discussion around that. He is amazing and I never thought I would want to be married to someone so much! Lots of people are being overly critical of you here and making assumptions. I've been in a similar situation (dating a long time and wanting to get married). I’ve been expecting him to propose for quite a while now. We've been best friends for 11 years and went to high school together. She begrudgingly agreed. If you both are happy, then you should be engaged. He wants to be financially stable before proposing. After a couple days I thought maybe he just wasn You can be engaged for years with no date for a marriage set if he’s just worrying about the financial aspect. There are a lot of reasons but many of them can be As long as you don’t want children, women have limited time to do that. You are tired of his BS and him stringing you along indefinitely. Ask him if he wants to stop by a Justice of the Peace’s office and tie the knot on Friday and then grab drinks with friends. I was the one who asked him out first, except he wasn't ready and it took 2 years before he was ready. Waiting too long to propose. 5 years but living together for two years but discussed marriage prior. Guys who delay this or deny a woman this are the ones who don't really understand what makes a woman tick. I thought he was crazy. So it's not too early to get engaged. One time he even said he isn’t 100% sure yet about if i’m the one. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Have a conversation about both of your goals for marriage (or not) and what a comfortable timeline would be like for both of you. I would say that most relationships that’s fire and exciting tend to fizzle out fast where long lasting connection takes time. (It’s important to note that my best friend (29F) and her boyfriend – now fiancé (32M) - are staying He married another woman. Break Up. He said he isn’t completely sure yet. ly yq wc lv am ye db wc gc nl